Do You Feel Cheated?
Do You Feel Cheated?NBC15 Blog Listing
Do You Feel Cheated?
Topic Author: Christopher Papst
Posted: 4:24 PM May 18, 2009
Replies Posted: 7 comments
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In the next six months I have four weddings to attend, including one on Memorial Day weekend. Weddings never really did it for me. Many people get all excited about the union between a man and woman who are supposed to be in love. Me -- not so much. I care more about the food and open bar to be honest.

But lately, even that has been spoiled. I have heard, and been a part, of many marriages that have lasted less than a year. One of my good friends from high school got married when I did. They got divorced a year later. I went to one wedding a few years back where the bride and groom stayed together for all of two weeks.

I think this is the reason I don't get excited about weddings. I don't think marriage means what it used to anymore. It is not taken as seriously as I think it should. I am not saying that divorce in morally wrong, sometimes two people grow apart or life throws them some curve balls. But a marriage that lasts less than a year?

I feel cheated when I take time out of my busy schedule to go to a wedding that is quickly over. Usually it involves me taking some of my few vacation days ( I do work on the weekends) and spending money not only to get there but to buy a gift. It is a big commitment.

I am sorry if I am being selfish or puerile, but this does bother men. Hopefully the weddings I will attend in the near future will make me feel more honored for actually witnessing the union between two who truly love each other than cheated out of my time and money.

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Posted by: cassie Location: madison
hey chris, i agree that it is certainly disappointing--both for one's time and pocketbook. but, i'd rather two people split after one year than spend many painful years together or involve children in a nasty divorce.

Posted by: I feel cheated, too! Hi Chris. I agree 100%! In fact, this past weekend I learned of 2 couples have split! My husband and I are good friends with these couples. One couple the husband was cheating on the wife. The other couple separted because they were "growing apart." I get irritated when I think back to the weddings I've attended, spent MONEY on hotel rooms, the gifts, the outfit, and now that was a complete waste! I feel cheated, too.

Posted by: Packer Fan Location: WI
Certainly not my own wedding- we will celebrate 21 years together in July.

Posted by: Cindy Location: Blue Mounds
Hey Chris...I so agree, and I think it boils down to this instant gratification society that we live in. If it gets tough, a lot of people opt for the easy way out rather than work at their marriage or go to counseling. We want things to be perfect now and if not it is easier to 'jump ship". There are many times in my 24 year marriage where I could have just "quit" but didn't. Anything worth having is worth working for...marriage included.

Posted by: soon to be Mrs. Location: Madison
Chris... as a soon to be bride in August I completely... AGREE! I have attended several weddings in the past (even recently was a bridesmaid in one) where people where talking AT THE WEDDING about how long they thought the marraige would last. I think there are definitely weddings you attend where you can just tell the couple is marrying for the wrong reasons and that is both unfortunate and uncomfortable. The best peice of advice I've received is a wedding is A DAY a marraige is for a lifetime... people (especially brides) need to stop getting caught up in the hoopla of the "day" and remember what the ceremony is really about. Marraige is hard and my fiance and I have openly discussed how we will handle the hard times that will inevitably come and as long as you enter into marraige with an open honest line of communication and trust I think that's all anyone could hope for in a lifetime partnership!

Posted by: tLh Location: Madison
I think that part of the problem with marriages in the past couple of decades is that people now don't seem to have the same definition for committment that used to apply in previous generations. Think of how awesome that would be if we could have couples, families who would say no matter what you're mine and actually mean it!!! The word committment has certainly lost it's lustre over the last several decades... You can know someone for days or years and have perfectly successful marriages or you can know someone for days or years and have miserable marriages - the difference is what committment means to you as a person and couple.

Posted by: Larry Location: Madison
I hear ya, Chris! Half my friends are divorced, but at least they were married for several years or longer. The bride's parents spend all that money and everyone else is investing time and money for that special day that's supposed to signify a lifetime together. What is it with people in the last 30 years? The divorce rate has skyrocketed! Sometimes two people are better off being divorced, if the relationship is a toxic or dysfunctional one (domestic abuse, etc.). How many people just get a divorce, however, because of more superficial reasons? Is it because we tend to date and have sexual relationships with more people before we get married now? My parents, who probably would have been better off being divorced, are from the WWII generation. They'll celebrate their 59th wedding anniversary this September. It seems to be one extreme or the other these days. I say try to hang on to what you've got. As a single man, the pickings can be pretty slim or come with baggage.

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