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A recent article in the Wall Street Journal written by Jeffrey Zaslow draws a huge distinction between men and women.

            “Women, more than men, have great urges to hold on tightly to old friends.”

Zaslow writes about a group of friends from Ames, Iowa that has remained close for decades even though distance separates them. His book, The Girls From Ames, tells their story.

And it reminded me of my own story of friendship. I have work friends, family friends, couples friends, college friends… and childhood friends. Not to offend anyone in the former groups… but there is something very special about a friend who has known you for years, even decades.

My group of childhood friends dates back to 1992. We were in middle school. I was the new kid, having moved to Ohio from Michigan. I met my best friend, Stacey, that year and two other great friends, Jill and Erika. The four of us did almost everything together in high school. We played sports, learned how to drive, attended parties, experienced our first kiss (and told!), laughed, cried and everything else in between.

Camping: Stacey, Leigh, Erika

New Year’s Eve: Leigh, Stacey, Jill

It has been 17 years since we first became friends. This past weekend we all met up in Chicago for a girls’ weekend, and we had a blast! It made me realize how much I miss having old friends around, and why I, as Zaslow put it, have a great urge to hold on tightly to them.

Girls’ Trip to Chicago, May 2009: Erika, Stacey, Jill, Leigh

When we get together, it feels like high school all over again. We’re back to our girlish antics and conversations. We laugh. We reminisce. But there’s also a brutal honesty about life that can only be shared with your closest friends, who’ve known you for years. There is something very freeing in knowing that you don’t have to be anyone but yourself. We listen. We give advice. And we walk away knowing it may be months or even years before we’re all together again… but when that happens, it will feel as though no time has gone by at all. That is the beauty of lifelong friendship.

Getting back to Zaslow's column, he cites numerous studies on friendship and its benefits.  A study out of Australia found that close friendships, even more than close family ties, help prolong women's lives.

He also discusses the difference in how men and women build and retain friends... saying that men's friendships tend to be based more on activities than emotions.  They connect through sports, work, poker or politics, while women could sit for hours talking and be content.

What are your thoughts? I hope both men and women will weigh in. Do you value old friendships… why or why not?