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| And for the record, I'm not. Nor will I be ever again, I promise. Love my 2 kids, but we're done. I truly hope this person does not read my blog, because I felt sorry for them. But I got a very casual "hey, are you expecting?" I had a baby 14 months ago and my tummy is not flat. But I really don't think I look pregnant. It happened a week ago and I have to admit it's still bothering me. Maybe it will help me lose those last 5 pounds, who knows. But more importantly, unless she is about to burst, do you ever ask a woman that question? I'd love your opinion and stories. |
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Posted by: John Location: Madison
Most people try hard not to hurt feeling but sometimes you say something knowing it could be taken wrong. A close friend had gained weight during a couple tough semesters. When I saw her recently I was fairly certain she had lost most of the weight. I debated if I should compliment her. I decided to take a chance and asked her if she hadn't lost some weight. She was happy someone noticed. A few weeks later another friend said she was angry with her husband. She had lost twenty pounds in a month and looked great but her husband refused to notice. In the mean time she has initiated a divorce. Us guys can get into trouble countless ways. Maybe women need to be a little less sensitive. Posted by: Jeff Location: DeForest Another insensitive comment (though I didn't realize it until it impacted me) is "why don't you have any kids yet? People would say "You know, you're not getting any younger." As it was my wife and I could not have child and it really hurt to have people say things like that. I usually told them I was aware of my age and at this age you have either chosen to not have kids, or you can't. I then added, that I would love to have them. Since then we have adopted a beautiful little girl and now understand the reason why we were not able to have kids. Posted by: corina Location: madison this sounds terrible but when i was pregnant (not too far along 4-6 months strangers would ask me when i was due and I would say "what! I'm not pregnant" just so they would not go up to complete strangers and ask this because it's rude. it happens to people who are not all the time. besides even if you are it makes you feel as if youve gain too much weight because of how sensitive we are when pregnant. You look great and even when you were pregnant you looked great. I just looked homely to tired to do anything. I always wondered how you always looked great. Posted by: Kathy Location: Middleton Sarah- you look great! I can relate and now will never say things like "I have great news" because people ask if I am expecting. I really must loose weight but you don't need to. Keep up the great work. Posted by: Cindy Location: Madison I can honestly say that I will not ask a woman that question as I know how much it hurts to have it said to me! About 2 weeks after I had my son, I was asked by a friends sister "So, when are you due again?" I was like "UH, I had him 2 weeks ago!" We laughed, but it still made me feel like I had to go on a crash diet! ha! I worked in a grocery store where the baggers would ask customers when they were due and often the woman would say she wasn't pregnant! So, I have learned my lesson by watching other people! Better to wait and see if they offer the info! Posted by: Packer Fan Location: WI Never ask a woman her age, weight, or if she is pregnant (unless you are absolutely, positively sure- even then I would hesitate.) If you are talking, chances are that they will tell you first. Here is another twist on the whole social manners thing. I recently purchased a new electric guitar (mint color) and the woman behind the counter said "That color looks great on you" (We had been discussing colors of guitars.) To which I immediately responded "Yes, but does it make me look fat?" That got a good laugh. Posted by: Arika I'm with Anne! I NEVER ask unless I'm 200% sure she is actually pregnant. I see a lot of moms at work and sometimes you just can't tell if they've gained weight or if they are expecting, so I never say anything until I know for sure! And Sarah, I've seen you in person many times are you are a stick! How she thought you were preggo is a mystery to me. :) Posted by: Tina Location: Windsor Hi Sarah- While not quite totally on topic here, I think society in general has really lost a sense of respect for each other. while I am horrified at the presumption someone would have asking you that (you look great Sarah!), a somewhat similar situation happened last Monday with a friend of mine and I- we were out to lunch, me, him, and his guide dog. We waited patiently as the line shortened, and suddenly a woman about 45 walked right up to my friend, looked him straight in the face and said "How did you go blind?"! generally he is a very understanding, kind hearted gentleman, but either the heat, a low blood sugar, or plain shock prompted the following utterance: "Oh, that? I masturbated too much as a teenager." She turned purple, and ran from the line to the door without looking back! granted, it wasn't subtle, classy, or even dignified, but it was sort of funny. Why would a complete stranger approach someone with a disability and ask how it happened? To me that seems invasive! Posted by: Paul Location: Sun Prairie hahahaha...Don't let it both you chunky!!! hahaha I don't think you ask that question unless you're looking to insult someone....No matter how innocent they said it. Did you see Mean Girls? hahaha Well...Keep your chins up and don't let it bother you!! hahaha Posted by: styxrox64 Location: Western Dane Co Wow Zeffan! You hit that one on the head. WE think alike.... Posted by: Frank Location: Lin While I do think women are WAYYYYYY too sensitive about things like their age and weight, I wouldn't ask a woman this question either. HOWEVER, sometimes people ask not because of how you look, but because they heard a rumor. Keep that in mind. Posted by: Mike Location: Madison What a freaking jerk! As if it would be any of their business anyway, no matter who you are Sarah, and where they know you from (professionally, as a viewer, a family friend, etc.)! I guess there is one advantage to having a guide dog in that she is not prejudiced against human appearances of any kind, and doesn't offer opinion to me, so everyone I meet is just as beautiful as the day the light of life first glowed in their eyes- until they open their mouth and totally destroy that mental image I was holding of them. Someone once joked "light travels faster than sound, so people appear bright until they open their mouths and speak"! Hey Sarah... you look fantastic from where I sit when I see you (even when you were pregnant, you still looked great!) no worries about that last 5# kiddo- doesn't even show where I am sitting! ;=) Posted by: Zeffan Location: Western Dane Co Sarah, you're right. There is NO WAY this question should be asked. First off, it's a personal matter, and secondly unless it's blatantly obvious, it's extremely rude. I've seen women who have never been pregnant get asked that question, and it just about destroys them! Here's the bottom line: If you're a GOOD FRIEND, you might get the information through a carefully worded conversation. If you can't, let it go. If you're not a friend, don't ask. It's none of your business. Posted by: Anne Location: Madison No, I would never ask a women unless it is very plainly obvious she is pregnant. Actually, about a week or so ago, my fiance and I were at his sister's wedding. A family friend was about 10 days from her due date and she was literally about to burst. She is a tiny person, so her being pregnant could not have been more obvious. My fiance, always wanting to be polite, came up to me and said "she is pregnant, right?" After I was done laughing (as were the people around us), I assured him she was quite pregnant! |
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