Faith's Legacy Save Email Print
Reporter: Leigh Mills
Email Address: lmills@nbc15.com


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NOTE: LEIGH'S BLOG ENTRY FOR THIS WEEK ADDRESSES SOME OF THE COMMENTS TO THIS STORY. TO READ AND PARTICIPATE IN THE DISCUSSION: CLICK HERE

Posted Monday --- February 11, 2008 -- 10:00pm

"An angel called my name, mommy. Her voice was soft and sweet. She held my hand and kissed my cheek and whispered, dear C.J., there's someone you must meet," says Tracey Meskers as she reads a poem she wrote.

In November 2006, Rick and Tracey Meskers eagerly awaited the birth of their second son.

"It was really a wonderful pregnancy, very good," says Tracey.

On the baby's due date, they went into labor. But something went terribly wrong.

"There's no cry. No cry and they tried to revive him right away," Tracey explains. Rick adds, "They said the baby had no heart beat and they tried to resuscitate him right away. It's torture. They tried for 20 minutes to bring him back."

Baby C.J. was a still birth. He was born a little before 9 a.m. on November 4th.

"As long as I was holding him, and I had him in my arms, I don't think you let yourself believe it at all," explains Tracey, "I really looked at people and thought, why are you so sad?"

The Meskers took pictures with C.J., bathed him, even made hand and foot prints.

"Our boy wanted to take the baby home no matter what," says Rick, referring to their older son, Broderick, "He held him. He was so proud of him."

But they had to leave, without baby C.J.

Rick remembers it all too well. "I'll never forget that ride drive home from the hospital, seeing my son crying in the backseat. It was horrible."

The Meskers set out on a journey to heal their broken hearts, and it led them to a lodge on 80 acres in the Northwoods.

"Those first couple months that are so difficult, when people are really struggling day to day," says Susan Lacek, the vice chairperson on the lodge's board of directions, "That they have a resource where they can come and get away and feel comfortable sharing, that's one of the best things about Faith's Lodge."

Last summer, Susan and her husband opened Faith's Lodge as a place where families with seriously ill children or those who've lost a child can stay in a supportive, peaceful environment.

"When parents have lost a child, they need to be intentional about their grieving," explains Susan, "They need to be intentional about their healing process. They can't rush through it."

"The weekend I wanted to go was over his anniversary," recalls Tracey, "It was for couples who've lost infants."

But it wasn't an easy sell for Rick. "I didn't want to come at first. I thought it would be very depressing seeing other people who have lost children like we had and it really scared me to take that step backwards," explains Rick, "But it really wasn't a step backwards."

Tracey and Rick spent time sharing their story.

"I got to share his pictures," says Tracey, "And I got a smile instead of a panicked look and it meant a lot."

Every room has a journal.

"That is one of the most powerful things," she says, "You're reading words that come from the heart and it was hard to read but again comforting that we're not alone in this."

Tracey wrote a tribute to their son.

"To have his name in there and I put his picture in there because I do want to share his life," she says.

Rick spent time reflecting on a path of inspiration, surrounded by words of hope and strength.

They also shared a very meaningful moment.

"We made a rock with his name on it," explains Tracey, "And put it down by the bridge."

It's fittingly named, the bridge of hope.

"We didn't have a ceremony for him yet," she says as tears well up in her eyes, "So when I put the rock there I just felt like this was his resting place. This is an important place for us because this is where he is."

And it's also an important place to Susan. Faith's Lodge is named after her first born, a daughter she lost all too soon.

"It was just completely devastating to us," recalls Susan, "We went from that being the happiest time of our life to being the absolutely worst time of our life and just really struggled with, 'How do we deal with this? How are we going to get through this?'"

After seven years of hard work, the lodge opened, becoming Faith's legacy. It's filled with reminders of the daughter they lost. They're reminders that help others keep faith alive.

"I remember my mom saying to me, you know Susan, I think Faith would be so proud of you," she says as her voice chokes up, "And that was one of those times that I just really felt, I let it sink in and thought, I think she would be proud."

In the years since Faith's death, two other miracles have arrived.

"They love coming here," Susan says of her two other daughters, "They know it's purpose and they know that this is something done in their sister's name and they brought a lot of sunshine back into our lives."

It's that sense of hope, Susan hopes to pass on to others, like the Meskers.

"I just felt like I was going to make it," says Tracey, "It's going to be okay."

Rick adds, "She loves babies so much, I said, 'You know, this is one way we get to have a baby forever.'"

"I have an angel now. I have this angel that's always with me," says Tracey as she looks up.

Tracey tearfully finishes reading the poem she wrote, "Please don't cry mommy, a "peace" of heaven we share. Look deep in your soul, I'll always be there."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Faith's Lodge offers different getaways, depending on your situation and what you want to get out of your stay.

If you or someone you know has recently lost a child or has a seriously ill child, log on to www.faithslodge.org for more information.

Another wonderful thing about Faith's Lodge: it's so affordable.

There is a suggested minimum donation of $25 a night; however, no one will be turned away for financial reasons.

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Posted by: Rebecca Location: Frederic, WI on Apr 3, 2008 at 03:20 PM
As a survivor of a deceased child, my heart pours out to Rick & Tracey and all the surviving parents of one of the most horrific experiences a parent should NEVER have to endure. Whether your child moved in the womb, cooed in your arms, played baseball in the early summer, married their sweetheart or gave birth to children of their own....A parent should NEVER have to endure the loss of their own child (regardless of that child's gestation OR age) The loss, grief and confusion that a parent experiences in such a tragic event is completely overwhelming. I read a few posts regarding the photos and how there were some individuals that found them offensive and it still amazes me to this day how cold and unfeeling the human race can be. Even more importantly however, is the powerful display of compassion that is given freely from others. I am so very grateful and relieved to say that compassion FAR outweighs the negative response from some. In honor of my Michael 02-02-91 ~~ 04-28-91

Posted by: Anonymous on Mar 28, 2008 at 11:11 AM
Deb in Janesville. I'm sorry for your loss of your child. It doesn't matter if the baby is stillborn or dies from other causes, it is a tragedy that it has to be experienced by anyone. I only hope that you are dealing with your grief and anger, as your anger was very evident in your posting. I hope you find peace in your life.

Posted by: Ren Location: Farmington on Mar 6, 2008 at 11:51 PM
My husband and I have also lost 2 children at 4 mos gestation and while we may not have the pics out and visible, I find it extremely distasteful that anyone would dare to say such deragatory comments on such beautiful pics of a baby. Shame on anyone who makes such quick judgment from their experience alone and I only hope you do not have to go thru what so many experience in this unfortunate situation. Those that are so quick to be offended deserve some of the hell we have all been thru...Shame on you!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Julie Location: Watertown on Mar 4, 2008 at 07:13 AM
Our daughter and husband lost their 5 month little boy, Joshua on Feb. 11, 2008. He was stillborn. The loss was devastating to them and to all of us. The hosptial Rochester/Methodist/Mayo was very compassionate and caring, but the loss was still very hard. Hopes were lost, hearts were crushed. But Joshua is our angel forever and is sharing his life with our family that went before him. Our daughter and son-in-law are an inspiration to us. They are handling it with great strength, but it is not easy. The pain is very great and the lonliness is ever present. I hope that they will find peace in their lives and this report will be a help on the journey to that peace. Thank you for the report. It was the most important report that you could have done that day.

Posted by: Michelle Location: Madison on Feb 23, 2008 at 10:38 PM
My husband and I lost our beautiful son Ben almost 1 year ago today. He was a still born at 36 weeks. He may died before he was born, but he did live. I know this because I felt him move everyday. And every mother who has felt that as well, knows that their baby is alive. While he was alive, I had all the same thoughts, I made all the same plans, I had all the same hopes and dreams for him as you did. The difference is, my dreams for my baby were taken from me when he was. So anyone who feels this was a distasteful news piece should remember that. You can never place yourself in my shoes and I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but you can relate if you've ever felt your baby move. Now just try to imagine that beautiful little life taken from you and you might have a tiny insight into what we've gone through. Rick and Tracy, your son is absolutely beautiful, thanks for using your grief in such a positive, productive way.

Posted by: Debbie Location: Poynette, WI on Feb 22, 2008 at 08:15 PM
Our beautiful son Abraham was born on January 3, 2007. He died on January 10, 2007. We hope to stay at Faith's Lodge this year and hopefully find some comfort. The pictures in the story were beautiful. It's a sad comment on this culture when pictures of a dead baby are found to be offensive and morbid. I don't think so. I think the VIOLENCE on tv is much more disturbing. Our dead babies are innocent and beautiful and sweet. Like all new parents we like to show off pictures of our babies. Unfortunately our babies have died. The pictures we have of them are all we ever get. EVER! Please try to be compassionate and understanding and soft when we want to share our story. Just like parents lucky enough to take home thier babies home, we want to talk about our son or daugther. Just because they are dead does not mean they are any less a part of us. Thanks for the forum.

Posted by: Genea Location: Oregon on Feb 14, 2008 at 04:48 PM
On June 17, 2004 we lost Jacob to stillbirth. What a terrible experience after an awesome pregnacy, thanks to our great family we have been able to accept and move on but never really understood what happened. It makes me very angry to hear people say that ones grief is worse than another. It doesn't matter how or why Jacob died, we still lost our baby. I am thankful for the time we spent with him and for the pictures that we have. That is all we have, no videos, no clothes or blankets, nothing from him coming home so for those of you who are offended, GROW UP! Tracey and Rick are so brave, it takes some courage to go on public tv and tell such a heart breaking story! My heart goes out to those of you who have lost children, it's not easy. Faiths Lodge will succeed, there are going to be many people who will be thankful for having such a beautiful place to go and spend time alone. Good luck to you Tracey and Rick, it does get easier, we now have 2 healthy happy beautiful children!

Posted by: j.o. Location: wisconsin on Feb 13, 2008 at 04:18 PM
Thank you for the beautiful story re Faith's Lodge and to the Mesker family for sharing their story and their sorrow. There is nothing worse I can imagine than losing a child. The pictures of C.J. were absolutely beautiful. Thank you for a moving, powerful piece and for the information on such a wonderful resource.

Posted by: Nancy Location: Lake Mills on Feb 13, 2008 at 04:10 PM
Any place that can help people to heal after a loss like this is worthwhile, and the story was a public service. We see pictures of the dead almost every night on the news, pictures of murder victims in our cities and the victims of war. These are far more disturbing than the photos of this beautiful child could ever be. To anyone who objected to the photos of the Mesker's baby, I would just say--Nobody forced you to watch this story.

Posted by: Cathy Location: Monroe on Feb 13, 2008 at 11:07 AM
I am the grandmother of a full-term stillborn child. Even though there is no birth certificate or death certificate, this child was very much alive and loved. She had a personality already in the womb. She was our dancing baby so we decorated her room in ballerina bunnies. For the record, Deb from Janesville, we did get to hold her. Our family did not view the story as an advertisement in any way. We are thankful to hear that such a place exists. We have struggled so long with grief that maybe a place like this can help. The depression and heartache that accompanies such a loss is overwhelming. Not only did we lose our granddaughter in addition we cannot protect our daughter and her husband from the painful grief they are having to endure. I am hopeful that maybe a place like Faith's Lodge can help them find some peace. Thank you Leigh Mills for airing the story and thank you to Meskers for sharing.

Posted by: Will Location: Madison on Feb 13, 2008 at 11:02 AM
For those parents looking for a support group there is a Bereaved Parents Support Group that meets at St. Mary's Hospital the 3rd Thursday of the month at 7:30 p.m. The next meeting is February 21st. The Compassionate Friends support group also meets on the same day in Monona starting at 7:00 p.m. both are excellent groups for parents dealing with the loss of children.

Posted by: Tina Location: Oregon, WI on Feb 13, 2008 at 10:10 AM
I am the mother of 4 beautiful sons and unfortunately, my 3rd son, Zandyr, never had the opportunity to live outside of me. My son, Zandyr, died from an umbilical cord accident and was born still, in August 2004. Unfortunately, the only pictures we have of our son are of him dead. That is the horrible reality of having a baby that is stillborn. I am sorry that some people find it offensive, but I think it says more about their unhealthy issues with death. To say that the pictures of that beautiful little boy, C.J., are in anyway distasteful or offensive, is ridiculous. Those are the only pictures that family has of their son, and I know how very valuable they are. We have pictures of our son, Zandyr, displayed around our house, just like our other three sons; I only wish we had more. Zandyr is an equal member of our family, and it would be far more painful for us to pretend he didn't exist, and to avoid showing pictures of him, just to make other people more comfortable.

Posted by: Mickey Location: Monroe on Feb 12, 2008 at 10:51 PM
My husband and I lost our daughter almost a year ago, the week before she was due. I am so glad this story was told because those of us who have losses feel so alone in the world. It is so nice to know there are others out there with the same situation. To those who feel showing a "dead baby" on tv is wrong, this child would have looked like it was if its eyes were open. I have pictures at my business of my daughter because she looks like she is only sleeping. My clients love the fact that I want everyone to know how much we love her even though we did not get to keep her. I simply cannot believe that someone could say that losing a child before birth is not a loss because my daughter was full term and her autopsy is 13 pages long because they cannot give us a cause of death. Her heart just stopped beating and when you carry a child for 9 months, eating what you eat, sleeping during the day, kicking when you are trying to sleep, and you don't feel the movement one day. You die inside.

Posted by: Deborah Aguado Location: Madison, WI on Feb 12, 2008 at 10:04 PM
My sympathies go out to the Meskers and I thank them for sharing the experience of their greatest loss. I know the Lacek family and I have to say they are the most generous people I've ever met, everything they touch is for others and the retreat they offer shows that generosity. Faith's Lodge is a heartfelt gift and I have no doubt many will benefit from it. Maybe making donations to Faith's Lodge, to help others heal would be far better than picking a human interest story like this apart. Pat yourself on the back Leigh Mills you did an awesome job!!!

Posted by: jakeb Location: madison on Feb 12, 2008 at 08:39 PM
well deb from janesville they show dead people all the time on tv it is kind of the same thing keep your comments to yourself its just as bad a crib death...

Posted by: Wendy Location: Baraboo on Feb 12, 2008 at 08:31 PM
I think what Susan and family are doing with Faith's Lodge is uplifting and supportive for people that are going through something like this. Losing a child happens when it is least expected, it happened to my sister in October and I'm glad that she has these kinds of outlets out there to help her. Thank you and kudos to those behind Faith's Lodge.

Posted by: Katie Location: Madison on Feb 12, 2008 at 03:50 PM
"...using a picture of their stillborn as a billboard..."?? Deb, are you kidding? This family shared a very intense experience in an effort to help others. Perhaps you should get some help to deal with your pent-up anger and hostility. You also seem to be saying that a woman who miscarries shouldn't be as upset because their baby never had the chance to "wake up". I'll pray for you to be more understanding and sympathetic. To "Resident" in WI - I'm sorry for your loss as well. And good for you....I would display whatever I could. I certainly wouldn't hide anything and everything having to do with my parents when they die; why would someone do that when their child dies?

Posted by: S on Feb 12, 2008 at 03:34 PM
Deb's comments are the most horrific comments I have ever read concerning a tragedy. She obviously needs help herself.

Posted by: Resident Location: Wisconsin on Feb 12, 2008 at 02:39 PM
WOW! Obviously some people don't understand that people grieve in different ways. This family wanted pictures of their deceased son, maybe you wouldn't, and thats okay too. When my son died a little over a year ago, I couldn't do enough to keep his presence in our house. I bought a curio cabinet and put little "memories" of him in it, to include all the sympathy cards, and cards written by his classmates. I get to see his memory everyday, and that's what I want. When my mother lost her son, she didn't want any memories of him around, so I never knew him (he died before I was born). But we all grieve differently, and I respect her choice, as she does mine. If I hadn't been listening to the story, I would never have known the pictures were of a deceased child, they were very tactful. I did find the website, and have already decided to help with making a quilt, maybe two. Another way that I can go through the grief process.

Posted by: Paula Location: Madison on Feb 12, 2008 at 01:52 PM
The ill humanity of some people never seems to cease to amaze me. The strength it took this family to come and share their story so others could be helped is amazing. To call the photos of their beautiful baby distasteful is insensitive and eludes to peoples lack of touch with the reality of what happens in the world. It is a far cry from much worse things that I have seen on TV on a daily basis. You always have the choice to turn the show off. Let those of us who can deal with the reality, as sad as it may be, continue to be offered informative stories like this and be helped.

Posted by: Brad Location: Fall River on Feb 12, 2008 at 01:29 PM
Thank you for covering this story. Losing a child at any point is a very difficult thing to endure. My wife and I lost our son, Matthew, a little over a year ago. He was stillborn, one week prior to his due date. His was a life cut short. To those people who had negative reactions to the pictures of the deceased infants, I can only express wonder at your callous comments. Are your viewpoints truly that narrow? Have you never watched a newscast in which a dead person was shown? You can watch television on any given night and see dead people depicted. What about this is so threatening to you? Have you never attended a funeral for a loved one? Those pictures depicted real lives, real hopes, real peoples' dreams. People like you do not have the capacity to examine your actions. To those who have lost children, my sympathies go out to you.

Posted by: Susan Location: Cortland, OH on Feb 12, 2008 at 01:15 PM
This was one of the most interesting and inspiring Stories I've ever seen on your station. Great job!!! to Leigh Mills

Posted by: Resident Location: Wisconsin on Feb 12, 2008 at 01:11 PM
I am amazed that a person like Deb would ever think of saying that the hurt this family felt is less because they never brought home their baby. It sounds as though Deb is very angry, possibly about losing a child of her own. If that's the case, a place like Faith's Lodge might have been just the thing she needed to get rid of the anger she might be feeling now. If it isn't due to the above reason, and she is just venting - WOW - unbelievable. I'm so glad I do not have an acquaintance like her. In my opinion, the story was wonderful. This family poured their hearts out to help other grieving families realize that there is help and a place to go for healing. I applaud this family and the strength they showed. Their baby was beautiful and I am so sorry for their loss.

Posted by: Jenny Location: Janesville on Feb 12, 2008 at 12:02 PM
I found the piece to be the most amazing and touching story I have seen in a long time. Shame on all of you for adding to this couples tragedy by posting such hurtful and derogatory comments. And shame on you for commenting on how an unborn child was never alive and therefore less grief is involved. May God bless you and help you find understanding and compassion rather than spite and hate.

Posted by: Green County Resident on Feb 12, 2008 at 11:22 AM
I was deeply offended by the photos of a dead infant on your newscast. The story was wonderful, just please consider people's feelings next time you're showing dead humans on tv. I realize that many years ago this was a sort of tradition, but It isn't now.

Posted by: Bill Location: Madison on Feb 12, 2008 at 11:08 AM
Here is the website: http://www.faithslodge.org/

Posted by: Don Location: Janesville on Feb 12, 2008 at 09:33 AM
That was a horrible thing to show on tv. A deceased infants pictures?!!! How tacky! The story was wonderful about the lodge, but the pictures were not necessary.

Posted by: William Location: Madison on Feb 12, 2008 at 08:17 AM
My wife and I both visited Faith's Lodge after the loss of our son and what a wonderful place. We actually met Tracey and Rick in November. It is a place where families can go and feel normal. Where everybody knows what your going through and has experienced the same feelings as you. None of the stories are exactly the same but everybody has suffered a great loss. We were a little frightened as well on the drive there, but those feelings quickly went away when we arrived. You have the option of being part of group outings or you can do things on your own. There is no pressure to talk or take part in anything that you don't want to. If there is anybody out there thinking about visiting Faith's Lodge I would highly recommend it. We have recommended it to people we know that have lost or have sick children and we have recommended it at the support groups we attend in the Madison area. You hope you never need to visit a place like Faith's Lodge but it's nice knowing a place like this exist.

Posted by: Amanda Location: Madison on Feb 12, 2008 at 07:15 AM
What a wonderful thing for people who have lost a child or are going through a childs illness! Being able to be around other parents who have dealt with similar issues and talk about their kids without there being any awkwardness, and being able to keep their memories alive! This is so awesome!

Posted by: Myrna Location: Poynette, WI on Feb 12, 2008 at 06:27 AM
Your story really hit home. Last September my son and his girlfriend had a stillborn baby and we almost lost his girlfriend too. I am the Grandma and am still having a hard time dealing with it at times. I know when this September comes it is going to be a very difficult one but knowing there is a place like this may help them in their grief also. I will definatley look into it. Thanks for running this story!!!

Posted by: Tina Location: Windsor on Feb 12, 2008 at 01:54 AM
What a beautiful story! God bless those wonderful folks for offering this to the parents withsuch monumental loss and painful heartbreak!

Posted by: A Mom Location: WI on Feb 12, 2008 at 12:51 AM
That was the most beautiful and meaningful story I have ever seen from this station. Thank you for sharing it with us. God bless the families that have had to go through this, give them the strength to heal and bless the family that created this wonderful place!

Posted by: Cassie Location: Dodgeville on Feb 11, 2008 at 10:22 PM
Thank you for this wonderful story. I am a family member of this type of tragedy. It is a very difficult time, not only for the parents but for the family as well. Can you tell the veiwers how to learn more about this lodge?

Posted by: Deb Location: Janesville on Feb 11, 2008 at 10:21 PM
This was the most morbid piece of jounalistic trash I have ever seen. They lost a baby they didn't get to hold , well alot of women do. Try losing one you have at home one who is breathing and alive then you wake up one morning and the baby doesn't.That is a tragedy and a loss that is ever so much harder to deal with. I am sorry their baby never lived but they really don't know what a loss a child is unless they could take that child home and care for it, hear it, feed it and then have to bury that same child. I am glad they are doing something good for others however using a stillborn as their advertisement is wrong on so many levels. You want to do tragedy look around at the kids who have to try and survive abuse, hunger, pain from desease.

Posted by: Karen Location: Lake Mills on Feb 11, 2008 at 10:15 PM
Sure wish this place would have been around when I lost my special needs son. Is there a web site or something with more information on Faith's Hope?

Posted by: Karen Location: Janesville on Feb 11, 2008 at 10:11 PM
This was very distasteful and tacky. Showing pictures of a dead baby was really wrong. Please don't ever do that again. People do lose children all the time, but showing a deceased baby was very disturbing to myself and my husband.