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Posted Monday --- February 11, 2008 -- 10:00pm

"An angel called my name, mommy. Her voice was soft and sweet. She held my hand and kissed my cheek and whispered, dear C.J., there's someone you must meet," says Tracey Meskers as she reads a poem she wrote.

In November 2006, Rick and Tracey Meskers eagerly awaited the birth of their second son.

"It was really a wonderful pregnancy, very good," says Tracey.

On the baby's due date, they went into labor. But something went terribly wrong.

"There's no cry. No cry and they tried to revive him right away," Tracey explains. Rick adds, "They said the baby had no heart beat and they tried to resuscitate him right away. It's torture. They tried for 20 minutes to bring him back."

Baby C.J. was a still birth. He was born a little before 9 a.m. on November 4th.

"As long as I was holding him, and I had him in my arms, I don't think you let yourself believe it at all," explains Tracey, "I really looked at people and thought, why are you so sad?"

The Meskers took pictures with C.J., bathed him, even made hand and foot prints.

"Our boy wanted to take the baby home no matter what," says Rick, referring to their older son, Broderick, "He held him. He was so proud of him."

But they had to leave, without baby C.J.

Rick remembers it all too well. "I'll never forget that ride drive home from the hospital, seeing my son crying in the backseat. It was horrible."

The Meskers set out on a journey to heal their broken hearts, and it led them to a lodge on 80 acres in the Northwoods.

"Those first couple months that are so difficult, when people are really struggling day to day," says Susan Lacek, the vice chairperson on the lodge's board of directions, "That they have a resource where they can come and get away and feel comfortable sharing, that's one of the best things about Faith's Lodge."

Last summer, Susan and her husband opened Faith's Lodge as a place where families with seriously ill children or those who've lost a child can stay in a supportive, peaceful environment.

"When parents have lost a child, they need to be intentional about their grieving," explains Susan, "They need to be intentional about their healing process. They can't rush through it."

"The weekend I wanted to go was over his anniversary," recalls Tracey, "It was for couples who've lost infants."

But it wasn't an easy sell for Rick. "I didn't want to come at first. I thought it would be very depressing seeing other people who have lost children like we had and it really scared me to take that step backwards," explains Rick, "But it really wasn't a step backwards."

Tracey and Rick spent time sharing their story.

"I got to share his pictures," says Tracey, "And I got a smile instead of a panicked look and it meant a lot."

Every room has a journal.

"That is one of the most powerful things," she says, "You're reading words that come from the heart and it was hard to read but again comforting that we're not alone in this."

Tracey wrote a tribute to their son.

"To have his name in there and I put his picture in there because I do want to share his life," she says.

Rick spent time reflecting on a path of inspiration, surrounded by words of hope and strength.

They also shared a very meaningful moment.

"We made a rock with his name on it," explains Tracey, "And put it down by the bridge."

It's fittingly named, the bridge of hope.

"We didn't have a ceremony for him yet," she says as tears well up in her eyes, "So when I put the rock there I just felt like this was his resting place. This is an important place for us because this is where he is."

And it's also an important place to Susan. Faith's Lodge is named after her first born, a daughter she lost all too soon.

"It was just completely devastating to us," recalls Susan, "We went from that being the happiest time of our life to being the absolutely worst time of our life and just really struggled with, 'How do we deal with this? How are we going to get through this?'"

After seven years of hard work, the lodge opened, becoming Faith's legacy. It's filled with reminders of the daughter they lost. They're reminders that help others keep faith alive.

"I remember my mom saying to me, you know Susan, I think Faith would be so proud of you," she says as her voice chokes up, "And that was one of those times that I just really felt, I let it sink in and thought, I think she would be proud."

In the years since Faith's death, two other miracles have arrived.

"They love coming here," Susan says of her two other daughters, "They know it's purpose and they know that this is something done in their sister's name and they brought a lot of sunshine back into our lives."

It's that sense of hope, Susan hopes to pass on to others, like the Meskers.

"I just felt like I was going to make it," says Tracey, "It's going to be okay."

Rick adds, "She loves babies so much, I said, 'You know, this is one way we get to have a baby forever.'"

"I have an angel now. I have this angel that's always with me," says Tracey as she looks up.

Tracey tearfully finishes reading the poem she wrote, "Please don't cry mommy, a "peace" of heaven we share. Look deep in your soul, I'll always be there."
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Faith's Lodge offers different getaways, depending on your situation and what you want to get out of your stay.

If you or someone you know has recently lost a child or has a seriously ill child, log on to www.faithslodge.org for more information.

Another wonderful thing about Faith's Lodge: it's so affordable.

There is a suggested minimum donation of $25 a night; however, no one will be turned away for financial reasons.